PROBLEMATIC SEXUAL BEHAVIORS IN CHILDREN

We often see some children using sexual slang words excessively or are involved in sexual activities like repeatedly exposing their private body parts, inserting objects in sexual organs etc., which we find quite unusual, inappropriate, rare and regardless of their age, can be the common traits of problematic sexual behaviors. If not addressed seriously it may have harsh consequences . For example few cases has been reported in which children in their early teen have been found sexually abusing or even raping the pre-school kids.

SBC(Sexual Behavior Change) is quite normal and gradual which may vary from children to children. Sexual behaviors become problematic when it is not normal and appropriate for their age group. It even disturbs their regular routine activities by unnecessary and excessive interference.

As children grow physically, socially, emotionally; similarly, they grow sexually. Sexual change is a part of physical change whereas sexual behavior change is associated with psychological change. SBC(Sexual Behavior Change) is quite normal and gradual which may vary from children to children. In some, the change is slower and in some it may be faster based on their background, experiences, culture, socio-economic condition of their family etc. To identify and address problematic sexual behavior of kids we have to understand the development of normal sexual behavior change in children of various age group.

NORMAL SEXUAL BEHAVIOR DEVELOPMENT

The sexual behavior development is very common and normal occurrence during childhood . Generally, it is prominent between 3 years to 14 years of age.

Children of pre-primary school level (3 to 5 years) develops curiosity about their own body parts and adult body parts as well. They try to explore it by touching or by asking various questions related to it.

Children of primary school level (5 to 11 years) are more conscious about the social rules and regulations about sexual behavior but still have interest towards sexual body parts. Children of this age don’t like or hesitate to appear naked and have developed the feeling of shyness; they are very sensitive. Learning and using sexual slang words for the body parts, cracking dirty jokes for entertainment among their own age group is also common and normal up-to some extent. They also develop interest in adult sexual behavior. The initial signs of puberty is also seen in later years.

Children of middle school (11 to 14 years) are aware about their sexual feelings which go along with puberty. They start developing interest in romantic relationships; it is very common to have crushes, infatuations at this stage. Children of this age desires to experience the touch of opposite sex. Children may start masturbating or try experimental sexual activities.

Before understanding about the problematic sexual behaviors of children; parents or caretakers have to be aware about the normal sexual behavior development in them. It will help them to recognize problematic sexual behavior in children properly.

COMMON PROBLEMATIC SEXUAL BEHAVIOR IN CHILDREN

Sexual behaviors become problematic when it is not normal and appropriate for their age group. It even disturbs their regular routine activities by unnecessary and excessive interference. In most of the cases children with problematic sexual behavior harm themselves and even to other children. A number of time consequences are fatal. Common examples problematic sexual behavior are:

• Excessive use of vulgar and offensive sexual slang words and even jokes .
• Obsession of sexual body parts and sexual activities.
• Often showing sexual body parts publicly to the children of their own age group; even to older and younger children.
• Children trying hard to watch adults undressing in bathroom or dressing rooms without being noticed.
• Inserting objects in sexual body parts causing harm to the organs.
• Trying or copying sexual intercourse with toys, pets and the younger children of pre-school. It also involves oral-genital contacts.
• Forcing other children in inappropriate sexual activities.
• Making all possible attempts to have access to the pornographic contents.
• Online sexual abuse of others by hiding identity and age.
• Associating with the children who encourage inappropriate sexual activities.

There are various reasons behind the occurrence of PSB(Problematic Sexual Behavior) in children. It is mostly influenced by what they have watched and heard from their experiences from parents, sibling, relatives, acquaintances, television, internet, magazine etc. Family environment, friend circles etc plays vital role in creating PSB. Few children who have already become victim of child sexual abuse also exhibit this kind of behaviors.

Unfortunately, parents and caretakers barely accept the fact that their children are having problematic sexual behavior problem. Instead, they take it lightly ,ignore it or have instant harsh and destructive reaction. If the problem is not addressed constructively PSB will have worse and long lasting consequences. Sometime PSB is so intense that all efforts to control it fails and hence it requires professional helps. PSB in children is not something to hide or ignore. It, in fact, need proper attention, appropriate efforts and methods by parents and caretaker to help their children to get rid of it.

Sandip Gupta(Chairperson, SKETCH NEPAL)