SKETCH NEPAL

Children and Spirituality- Forging the sense of interconnectedness

This is an era of extreme perplexity. Everybody is in rush. In rush to achieve something that they haven’t achieved yet. The ascending and unending levels of achievements, one after another. But, in fact, the only thing one manages to accumulate is the tendency of keep rushing in vain.

And do you know what we loose! We loose rejoicing the invaluable gifts of life.

The trees in a backyard , the stream through the paddy fields, the invigorating sunrise, the serene sunset, the dancing and hovering diverse clouds, the chirping of birds, the charming moon, the glittering stars in the vast sky and unlimited splendors are pervasive offerings. We fail to accept it. In fact, we hardly notice. It’s not because we undermine them. We are intuitionally aware that we are interconnected and how wonderful they are.

This fast paced lifestyle and apprehensions are looting our quality time for the life cores .

And this interconnectedness is solely sufficient for contentment. This interconnectedness has lot to do with calming your agitated mind and delight the ecstasy within. It is sublime. The awareness of and attention to interconnectedness can be foundation to exuberant life .

Everyone has noticed the natural keen interest of kids towards the nature. Their tendency to get immersed in nature, for spiritual fulfillment, as a unit being, is intense. But parents mostly fails to nourish this tendency.

Parents should nourish the spiritual need of children by allowing them to explore the priceless gifts of nature.

This fast paced lifestyle and apprehensions has looted our quality time for the life cores. Parenting is adversely affected. Parents lack time for their kids. What could be the worse scenario! Rather parents choose to keep their children distracted from the urges by allowing them to engage in toys and smartphones, ignoring the adverse long term impacts . Because it requires less effort, prevents disturbances and allow you to continue with the rat race.

Gradually the influence of the surroundings ,unconsciously, compel the children to prepare for the same rat race. What they start loosing is the beauty of individuality and the bliss derived from interconnectedness. What they get is the soulless life, depressive attitude, chains, walls, limitations, insecurity, bondages, despair, hunger for validations and attention, loneliness etc.

And hence, the precious gift of life will become burden.

A little attention and effort from the parents will prevent children from suppressing their spiritual urges.

Parents should nourish the spiritual need of children by allowing them to explore the priceless gifts of nature. They should be taught love, gratitude, compassion, benevolence through interconnectedness. They have to know that life is way more than the rat race and which barely demands any material achievements.

Spirituality is the awareness of individuality and interconnectedness. It allows the unobstructed flow of love and compassion within the children.

And it will avert life from becoming burden.

Is cultivating manners only key element to shape kid’s character?

To forge character in kids, merely understanding of children’s psychology and behavior is never enough. Parents have to be well-informed about overall human behavior.

Children’s or not conditioned by birth. Their very first crawling begins over the mat of freedom. Their early vocalization is not influenced by any system or ideology. Their emotions are the outcome of the level of their physical comforts.

We must note that for any one who is not conditioned has uncontaminated taste of freedom. And discipline, compassion, love emerges automatically from someone whose soul is free. Conditions kills freedom and sprouts the self-doubt in them. Their very first challenge begins with bewilderment between what to do and not to do, what to speak and what not to speak, how to behave and how not to behave.

Never teach your children dos and don’ts based on social norms and interests. Let them know the moral background first. Let them understand that how it is going to help them to lead a blissful life.

As their natural tendencies have not been fully suppressed yet, the inbuilt drives keeps violating the children specific social norms. And the society doesn’t appreciate, validate or approve so called etiquettical blunders. Society approves perfections. No matter if you fake it. In fact, you have to fake it. There is no other way.

Hustle to achieve perfection in the parameters set by the society has nothing to do with inner growth in peace. Rather it’s brings deterioration in pieces of your individuality. Rejoicing in self becomes myth and pleasing others becomes the purpose.

Life becomes tough and suffocating when you are not you.

In fact, if we dive into the depth, we will realise that lack of perfection in human traits is perfection in itself.

I am not saying that children shouldn’t be instructed, trained or monitered. Actually it’s very important part of healthy parenting. Basic manners, humility, etiquettes , personal care, education etc should be gradually and tenderly instill in them. It’s a minor yet an important aspect. But as a parent you need to provide enough room for the emergence of their inner beauty. And that is the most important part.

Never tell your children what he or she has to do or not to do just because society doesn’t like it. Let them know the moral background first. Let them understand that how it is going to help them to lead blissful life. If you want your children to be aloof of people pleasing attitude, you have to be one to abandon it first.
You have to learn to respect individuality. Never compare your children with other’s kids. No matter if they fail or underperform.
If you are capable enough to meet the intuitional need of your children , then never hesitate. If not, tell them that why you can’t. Don’t be sorry. Just be real if the circumstances are not in your grip.
Children have to get good exposure around every aspects of life. Good understanding of identification and handling of negativity is as important as the instillation of positive attitude in them. (Everyone should understand that- It’s foolish to expect not to be eaten by a lion just because you are vegetarian)
Children should be able to understand the background of every single emotions. Factors, effects and consequences. First the parents have to be aware of the awareness. Then only they can coach the kids.
The spiritual inclination of children should be nourished properly. Parents should help their children to develop deeper connection with the nature.

Society is pretty cold towards individuality. Society wants everyone to adjust in the single frame. Society loves rat race. Society values machines more than emotions. Society appreciate numbers over quality. Society choose laughter over tranquility.

It’s a responsibility of every parents to showcase the world beyond the rat race. The profound gift of bliss which has nothing to do with material achievements.

And that is, the awareness of the self!!

Are good grades and so-called elite professions truly the key to respect?

In the Nepalese society, the education system has not evolved much over the past few decades. Neither the mindset of the people- specifically parents. Mostly valueless curriculum that is designed and imposed in such a way that , eventually, it ends up killing the natural aptitude, inclination and passion of the student.

If we believe that every tender souls deserves freedom to blossom in the atmosphere of appreciation and encouragement, society has to break the evil norms that it has been imposing undeclared generation after generation since time immemorial.

What may be the reason ?

Only doctors, engineers and bureaucrats are considered the part of elite class by the society.
Society honors PhDs, Doctors, Engineers, bureaucrats etc. and disregards plumbers, artists, carpenters, farmers etc. They are often compared and disgraced publicly in various occasions.
Academic performances and achievements are linked with the family’s pride.
Supercilious parents want their children to outshine the relatives and the neighbors’ children.
If the children fail to excel the academic qualification of their parent, it is considered as the shame to their parenthood.
Parents try to ensure their financial security, reputation and health care during their retirement through the achievements of their children.
Parents feels honored when they are addressed as the father or the mother of the elites.

These deep rooted evil norms have been killing the spirits of generations and generations. Children have been transforming into the machines with pre-installed operating programs that is limiting and misdirecting their potencies and controlling their behavior.

Children have to struggle mentally throughout their life to maintain balance with the evil social norms. Entire life becomes psychological burden and challenge.

The life is supposed to be a gift not a curse. But the evil social norms is the curse to the precious human existence. Ruining childhood based on ill mindset of the parents and the society is the worst curse. It will leave the children entangled in the chain of mental suffocation which will last throughout their life.

So, how to overcome it?

If we believe that every tender souls deserves freedom to blossom in the atmosphere of appreciation and encouragement, society has to break the evil norms that it has been imposing undeclared generation after generation since time immemorial.

Not only children but every single individual should be appreciated and treated equally based on their positive intentions and efforts. No work is bigger or smaller. Every profession has its own beauty and importance. Income is secondary. We cannot imagine society with plenty of doctors but without any farmers or electricians. This is just an example. Balance respects every free minds. And the free minds will never head towards negative direction.

किशोरकिशोरीहरु लाई सम्झाउनु नै पर्ने तीन महत्वपूर्ण कुराहरू

किशोरावस्था मानव जीवनको सबैभन्दा संवेदनशील अवस्था हो। यति बेला विभिन्न किसिमका शारिरिक तथा मानसिक परिवर्तनहरू तिव्र गतिमा भइरहेको हुन्छ। सैद्धान्तिक रुपमा अवोध बाट बौद्धिक स्थिति आवरण गर्ने प्रक्रियाको रुपमा समेत केहि हदसम्म यस अवस्थालाई परिभाषित गर्न सकिन्छ।

जिवनको उतारचढावमा प्रोत्साहित हुनु जतिकै हतोत्साहित हुनु पनि स्वाभाविक हुन्छ। यसैले प्रोत्साहन र हतोत्साहन को चक्र देखि माथि उठेर हरेक परिस्थितिमा अनुशासित हुनुको महत्व बारेमा अवगत गराउनु आवस्यक हुन्छ।

यस समय अवधिमा किशोरकिशोरीले केहि व्यावहारिक मार्ग निर्देशन पाएनन् भने उनिहरु मानसिक स्तरमा विभिन्न किसिमका चुनौतीका सामना गर्नुपर्ने हुन सक्छ। कहिले काँही यस्ता चुनौतीहरु असहनीय तथा पिडादायी पनि हुन सक्छ।

अत: अभिभावक तथा शिक्षकले किशोरकिशोरीहरु लाई व्यावहारिक शिक्षा अन्तरगत निम्न मार्गनिर्देशन प्रदान गर्नु उचित हुनेछ।

परिणाम भन्दा प्रयास महत्वपुर्ण: किशोरकिशोरीहरु लाई अपेक्षाकृत परिणाम भन्दा पनि प्रयासको महत्त्व बारे सम्झाउनु अत्यन्त आवश्यक हुन्छ । दत्तचित्त भएर प्रयास गर्न सक्नु नै सफलता हो। जुनसुकै परिस्थितिमा पनि प्रयास गरिरहने मान्छे आफ्ना लागि प्रत्यक्ष अथवा अप्रत्यक्ष रुपमा सहज तथा सम्बृद्ध जिवनका लागि प्रशस्त अवसरहरु सृजना गरिरहेका हुन्छन्।
प्रोत्साहन भन्दा अनुशासन व्यवहारिक : किशोरकिशोरीहरु लाई यो सम्झाउन निकै नै आवश्यक छ कि आफ्नो गन्तव्यको पथमा कोही पनि निरन्तर प्रोत्साहनको अनुभूति गर्न सक्दैनन्। जिवनको उतारचढावमा प्रोत्साहित हुनु जतिकै हतोत्साहित हुनु पनि स्वाभाविक हुन्छ। यसैले प्रोत्साहन र हतोत्साहन को चक्र देखि माथि उठेर हरेक परिस्थितिमा अनुशासित हुनुको महत्व बारेमा अवगत गराउनु आवस्यक हुन्छ।
असफलता प्रति सकारात्मक दृष्टिकोण: असफलता , सफलता जति नैं स्वभाविक हुन्छ भन्ने कुरा किशोरकिशोरीहरु ले बुझ्नु निकै नै आवश्यक हुन्छ। कहिले काँही तिनीहरूले आफ्नो पुर्ण समर्पित प्रयास गर्दागर्दै पनि असफलताको सामना गर्नुपरेको खण्डमा अभिभावक, शिक्षक तथा समाजले पनि अपहेलना गरिदिनु भएन।

यसरी किशोरकिशोरीहरु जीवनको प्रारम्भिक चरण देखि नै जीवनोपयोगी केहि सिद्धान्तहरू लाई आफ्नो आचरणमा ढाल्न सक्यो भने यात्रा आवश्य नै आनन्दमय हुनेछ।

अभिभावकले आफ्ना संतानलाई दिनहुँ सोध्नु नै पर्ने केही प्रश्नहरु

आफ्नो बालबालिका संग प्रगाढ सम्बन्ध स्थापित गर्न तथा उनीहरूको विस्वास जिती, निरन्तर प्रोत्साहित गर्दै सुरक्षाको प्रत्याभूति गराउन अभिभावकले आफ्ना संतान संग नियमित मैत्रीपूर्ण तरिकाले कुराकानी गर्नु निकै नै महत्वपूर्ण रहेको हुन्छ। यसरी बालबालिका संग नियमित कुराकानी गर्नका लागी अभिभावकले आफ्ना चरम व्यस्तताका बाबजुद पनि दिनहुँ एक निश्चित समय निकाल्नु एकदमै जरुरी हुन्छ। यो समय केवल अभिभावक र संतान बिचको हुनु पर्दछ।

आफ्नो अभिभावक संग आफ्ना मनका कुरा सहजताका साथ साझा गर्ने बानी परेकाले बालबालिकाहरू कुलत तथा विसंगति पर्ने अथवा कसैबाट बहकिने संभावना अत्यन्तै न्यून हुन्छ।

बालबालिका संग समय व्यतीत गर्दा तथा कुराकानी गर्दा केहि खास विषयवस्तुमा केन्द्रित रहेर कुराकानी गर्नु आवश्यक हुन्छ। हुन त अन्तरक्रिया लाई सहज बनाउनका लागि हाँसो-ठट्टा तथा अंकमाल उत्तिकै महत्वपूर्ण रहेको हुन्छ।

अभिभावकले आफ्ना संतान संग दिनहुँ सोध्नु पर्ने तथा उनीहरूको बारेमा जान्नु पर्ने महत्वपूर्ण कुराहरू।

तिमीसंग आज दिनभरीमा भएको सबै भन्दा रमाइलो कुरा के थियो?
के तिमीले आज कसैलाई सहयोग गर्यो? सहयोग गर्दा कस्तो अनुभव भयो?
आज के नयाँ सिक्यो?
आज दिनभरी भएका गतिविधिहरूमा केहि परिवर्तन गर्ने अवसर पाएको भए के परिवर्तन गर्थ्यो?
भोलिका लागि तिम्रा के कस्ता योजनाहरु रहेका छन्?
तिम्रो मनमा कुनै किसिमको जिग्यासा छ भनें निसंकोच भन!
तिम्रो र साथीहरु बिचको आपसी व्यावहार कस्तो रह्यो आज?

बालबालिकासंग नियमित रूपमा प्रश्नलाई प्रश्न जस्तो नभई सामन्य तथा स्नेही भावले प्रष्टसँग कुराकानी गर्दा उनीहरु आफूलाई पनि खुलस्त रुपले प्रस्तुत गर्नेछन्।यसले गर्दा बालबालिकाहरूको मानसिक स्वास्थ्यमा समेत निकै नै सकारात्मक असर पर्दछ। बालबालिकाले आफ्नो समस्या, संदेह तथा संकोचको उत्तम समाधान पाउछन्। अभिभावकले पनि आफ्नो बालबालिकाको स्वभावबारे राम्ररी अवगत हुन्छन्।

आफ्नो अभिभावक संग आफ्ना मनका कुरा सहजताका साथ साझा गर्ने बानी परेकाले बालबालिकाहरू कुलत तथा विसंगति पर्ने अथवा कसैबाट बहकिने संभावना अत्यन्तै न्यून हुन्छ।यसले बालबालिका तथा अभिभावक बिचको सम्बन्धलाई समेत मजबुत बनाउँदै लगेको हुन्छ।

बालबालिकाको व्यक्तित्व विकासमा खेलकुदको महत्व

खेलकुदलाई केवल मनोरञ्जनको दृष्टिले हेर्नु उचित हुन्न। मनोरञ्जनको उद्देश्यले मात्र पनि खेलकुदमा संलग्न हुँदा यसले व्यक्तित्व विकासको बहुआयाम मा सकारात्मक असर गरेको हुन्छ।

उचित समय व्यवस्थापन गर्दै खेलकुदलाई आफ्नो दैनिक जीवनको अभिन्न अंग बनाउन सके यसले शारिरिक, मानसिक तथा सामाजिक स्वास्थ्यलाई सुदृढ तथा सवल बनाउँदछ। झन बालबालिका तथा किशोरकिशोरीको नियमित दिनचर्याको हिस्सा खेलकुदलाई बनाउन सके उनीहरूको स्वस्थ तथा सम्वृद्ध भविष्यको मार्गलाई सहज तुल्याउन सकिन्छ।

व्यवस्थित तथा उचित खेलकुदमा संलग्न हुनु किशोरकिशोरी एवम् बालबालिकाका लागि निकै नै महत्वपूर्ण हुन्छ।

खेलकुदमा व्यापक शारीरिक सक्रियता हुने हुँदा मांशपेसी तथा हड्डी बलियो हुन्छ। फोक्सो, मुटु, पाचन प्रणाली लगायत स्वास्थ्य हुनुका साथै ग्रन्थीहरू नियमित हुने हुँदा शारिरिक विकास समेत उचित तवरले हुन्छ। यसले तौललाई सन्तुलित राख्दछ।
यसले मनोरञ्जन समेत प्रदान गर्ने भएकाले बालबालिकालाई उदासीनता बाट बचाउन सकिन्छ। पढाईको तनाव व्यवस्थापनमा समेत सहयोगी हुन्छ।बालबालिकामा नयाँ उर्जा तथा उत्साह भरिएर आउँछ।
खेलकुद बालबालिकाका लागि नयाँ साथीहरु बनाउने राम्रो माध्यम पनि हो। यसले एक्लोपनले निम्त्याउन सक्ने मानसिक चुनौतीहरु बाट बालबालिकालाई टाढा राख्दछ।
समुहमा सौहार्द तथा सहिष्णुताका साथ काम गर्न सिकाउनुका साथै बालबालिकामा निर्णय गर्ने क्षमता विकास समेत गराउँदछ।
तनाव व्यवस्थापन गर्ने कौशलता प्रदान गर्नुका साथै खेलकुदले बालबालिकालाई अनुशासित, धैर्यवान, स्वाभिमानी तथा शिष्ट बनाउँदछ।
खेलकुदमा राम्रो गर्न सके यस क्षेत्रमा समेत उज्ज्वल भविष्यको खाका कोर्न सकिन्छ।
खेलकुदले स्वस्थ दिनचर्या अपनाउन प्रोत्साहित गर्दछ। यसले गर्दा बालबालिकाहरू कुलत तथा दुर्व्यसन पर्ने सम्भावना न्यून हुँदै जान्छ।

उचित समय व्यवस्थापन गर्दै अध्ययनसँगै खेलकुदलाई बालबालिकाहरूले आफ्नो जीवनको अभिन्न अङ्ग बनाउन एकदमै महत्वपुर्ण हुन्छ।यसले जित हारलाई सहज तथा सामान्य रुपमा स्विकार्दै हरेक परिस्थितिमा सकारात्मक रहन सिकाउदछ। सवल एवं दक्ष नागरिक निर्माणमा खेलकुदले महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका निर्वाह गर्न सक्दछ।

वर्तमान सामाजिक-संजालीय अमर्यादित क्रियाकलाप, भविष्यमा संतानका लागी अभिषाप

बालबालिकाका लागी अभिभावक आदर्श हुन्छन्।अभिभावकको छवी कलिला नजरमा कुनै नायकको भन्दा कम हुदैन।जन्मे देखी नै अभिभावकको स्नेह, संरक्षण र मार्गनिर्देशनमा हुर्केका उनीहरुले अरु बालबालिकाहरुसंग कुराकानीको क्रममा समेत आफ्नो अभिभावकको गुणगान गर्दा थाक्दैनन्। विश्वास र स्नेह यति प्रवल हुन्छ कि आफ्नो अभिभावकको चित्रण सबै भन्दा उत्कृष्ट अभिभावकको रुपमा गर्छन् -मानौ कुनै प्रतिस्पर्धा होस्।

अहिलेका थुप्रै युवापुस्ता क्षणिक ख्याती तथा अर्थका लागी विभिन्न सामाजिक संजालका माध्यमबाट व्यक्तिगत आपत्तिजनक तथा अमर्यादित सामाग्रीहरु प्रस्तुत गरिरहेका छन्। कालान्तरमा उनीहरुले अभिभावकको भुमिका निर्वाह गरिरहदा , बालबालिकाले आफ्नो अभिभावकको अतितको सामना गर्नु नपर्ला भन्न सकिन्न। तेस्तो किसिमको परिस्थिति सृजना भएको खण्डमा परिणाम एक्दमै प्रतिकुल हुनेछ।

अभिभावकको आदर्श छवी सजाएर हुर्केका कलिला बालबालिकामा समय संगै स्वभाविक चेतनाको क्रमिक विकास पनि हुदै जान्छ। उनीहरुले विस्तारै व्यावहारिक कुराहरु बुझ्न थाल्छन्। घरायसी कामकाजमा सघाउनुका साथै सामाजिक क्रियाकलापमा समेत सहभागिता जनाउन थाल्छन्। भावनात्मकरुपले निकै नै संवेदनशील हुन्छन्।सानो कुराले समेत गहिरो छाप छोर्न सक्छ। सहजता र असहजताका बिच तुरुन्तै प्रतिक्रियात्मक व्यवहार देखाईहाल्छन्।झन अभिभावकहरु विरुध्दमा कसैले कुनै किसिमको नकारात्मक टिप्पणी गर्दा आक्रमक शैलीमा आफ्नो प्रतिक्रिया जनाउछन्।बालबालिकाको व्यक्तित्व विकास अभिभावकको वर्तमान आचरणले मात्र हैन , अतितका गतिविधिले पनि असर गर्न सक्छ।

अहिलेका थुप्रै युवापुस्ता क्षणिक ख्याती तथा अर्थका लागी विभिन्न सामाजिक संजालका माध्यमबाट व्यक्तिगत आपत्तिजनक तथा अमर्यादित सामाग्रीहरु प्रस्तुत गरिरहेका छन्। दुर्भाग्यवस् उक्त जमातमा नवअभिभावाक तथा प्रौढहरुको संख्या समेत उल्लेखनीय रहेको छ। कालान्तरमा उनीहरुले अभिभावकको भुमिका निर्वाह गरिरहदा , बालबालिकाले आफ्नो अभिभावकको अतितको सामना गर्नु नपर्ला भन्न सकिन्न। तेस्तो किसिमको परिस्थिति सृजना भएको खण्डमा परिणाम एक्दमै प्रतिकुल हुनेछ।यस्ले बालबालिका र अभिभावफ बिचको संबन्ध मात्र चिस्याउदैन, साथसाथै बालबालिकाको मानसिक तथा सामाजिक स्वास्थ्यमा गहिरो आघात पुर्याउन सक्छ।बालबालिका उदाशिनता, नैराश्यता, हिनताबोध, चिडचिडापन, दुर्व्यसन,गैर सामाजिक क्रियाकलापमा संलग्नता जस्ता समस्या देखिन सक्छ। अभिभावकको भविष्य अन्योलमा पर्न सक्छ नै, बालबालिकासमेत सर्वाङ्गीण विकासको संतुलन विग्रिन सक्छ। जस्को परिणामको असर लामो समय सम्म रहिरहन सक्छ।

मानिसले आफ्नो मर्यादा कुनै पनि परिस्थितिमा भुल्नु हुन्न। सबैका व्यक्तिगत तथा सामाजिक जिम्मेवारीहरु हुन्छन् । यो एक्दमै संवेदनशील विषय हो। यस तर्फ हामी सबै गम्भिर हुनु जरुरी छ। हामीले अहिले चाल्ने हरेक पाईलाले हाम्रो तथा हाम्रो संततीको भविष्य सुनिश्चित गर्छ।

तुलना गर्दै गिज्याउने प्रवृत्तिले बालमानसिक स्वास्थ्य खलबल्याउदै

बालबालिकाहरुको क्षमता, प्रयास तथा परिणामलाई एक अर्कासंग दाँज्नु भनेको अभिभावकहरुले गर्ने ठूलो गलती हो।यसले सकारात्मक भन्दा कैयौँ गुणा बढी नकारात्मक असर पार्दछ।यस्तो खाल्को प्रवृत्ति बालबालिकाका लागी प्रेरणा कम, यातना बढी हुन्छ।बालमानसिक स्वास्थ्य तथा व्यवहारमा लामो समय सम्म कुनै गहिरो घाउको खत सरह यस्को प्रभाव रहिरहन्छ।

बालबालिका सजावटका सामान हैनन् । अभिभावकले बालबालिकालाई आफ्ना महत्त्वाकाङ्क्षा पुरा गरिदिने अथवा समाजमामा आफ्नो प्रतिस्ठा बढाईदिने संसाधन को रुपमा प्रयोग गर्नु कुनै अपराध भन्दा कम हैन।यसले बालबालिकाको व्यक्तित्व विकासमा गहिरो आघात पुर्याउछ।

बालबालिकाहरुलाई एकअर्का संग तुलना गर्दा पर्ने असरहरु

१• आत्मविश्वासमा कमी: बालबालिकाहरुलाई अरुसंग दाँजेर होच्याउदा, उनीहरुले आफूलाई कम्जोर ठान्न थाल्छन् । बिना प्रयास नै हार स्विकार्छन्।सुरुवात गर्न समेत हिचकिचाउछन्।

२• स्वाभाविक व्यक्तित्व विकासमा नकारात्मक असर: बालबलिकाले आफ्नो भविष्य निर्माणका लागी आवश्यक कुनै किसिमको कार्य आत्मविश्वासको कमिले सम्पन्न गर्न तत्परता देखाउदैन्न।जस्ले गर्दा उनीहरुको सिकाई र बुझाईमा नकारात्मक असर पर्न जान्छ।

३• उदासिन्ता तथा हीनताबोध हुनु : बालबालिकाले आफ्नो व्यक्तिगत क्षमता तथा प्रतिभालाई बिर्सी आफूलाई कमजोर तथा निरिह ठान्न थाल्छन्।आफू प्रति हिन भावना उत्पन्न हुन थाल्छ।अलगथलग, एक्लै तथा उदास बस्न थाल्छन्। सामाजिक क्रियाकलापमा सकेसम्म सहभागी हुन चाहदैनन्।

४• भावनामा आघात पुग्नु तथा तिरस्कृत महसुस गर्नु: बालबालिकाले आफू अभिभावकको प्रेम तथा स्नेहबाट वञ्चित भएको अनुभव गर्न थाल्छन्।अपेक्षाकृत व्यवाहार नहुदा उनीहरुको भावनामा ठेस पुग्न सक्छ।उनीहरुको आत्मसम्मानमा समेत ठेस् पुग्छ।

५• अभिभावक र बालबालिका बिचको संबन्ध चिसिनु: अभिभावकको यस्तो किसिमको व्यावहारले बलबालिका तथा अभिभावक बिचको दुरी क्रमशः बढ्दै जान्छ। यस्तो परिस्थितिमा बालबालिकाहरुको कुसङ्गति र कुलतमा पर्ने संभावना एकदमै धेरै हुन्छ।

६•बालबालिकको फरक प्रतिभा तथा क्षमतामा ह्रास आउनु: दबाबमा कुनै पनि क्षेत्रमा लाग्दा आत्मसन्तुष्टी नहुनुका साथै तनाव पनि निम्त्याउछ। व्यक्तिगत जीवनको सन्तुलन बिग्रिन्छ।

हरेक बालबालिका बिशेष हुन्छन्।उनीहरुका झुकाव, क्षमता , प्रतिभा, पृष्ठभूमि , भोगाई फरक हुन सक्छ।अभिभावकले आफ्नो बालबालिकासंग सुमधुर तथा मैत्रीपूर्ण व्यवहार राख्नु पर्दछ।उनीहरुका भावाना बुझने प्रयास निरन्तर गरिरहनु पर्छ।कुनै किसिमको आवश्यक सल्लाह सुझाव स्नेहपूर्ण तथा सृजनात्मक तरिकाले दिनु पर्छ।

बालबालिका सजावतका सामान हैनन । अभिभावकले बालबालिकालाई आफ्ना महत्त्वाकाङ्क्षा पुरा गरिदिने अथवा समाजमामा आफ्नो प्रतिस्ठा बढाईदिने संसाधन को रुपमा प्रयोग गर्नु कुनै अपराध भन्दा कम हैन।यसले बालबालिकाको व्यक्तित्व विकासमा गहिरो आघात पुर्याउछ।

बाल्यावस्थाका अनुभवहरुले हाम्रो जीवन तथा व्यक्तित्व विकासको स्वरुप निर्धारण गर्दछ।अत: बालबालिका तथा अभिभावक बिचको संबन्ध, संवाद तथा अन्तरक्रिया सुमधुर एवम् सृजनात्मक हुनुपर्छ। बालबालिकालाई आफ्नो क्रमिक स्तरोन्नतीका लागी आफैसंगको स्वस्थ प्रतिस्पर्धाका निम्ति प्रोत्साहन गर्नुपर्छ। हारजितको चक्रबाट माथी उठेर बालबालिकालाई परिश्रम तथा प्रयासमा रमाउन सिकाउनु पर्छ।

PARENTAL SMARTPHONE ADDICTION AND KID’S UPBRINGING

Kid’s gadgets addiction has become frustration for the parents. The parents unceasingly express dissatisfaction and stress regarding children using gadgets excessively. Most of them are aware about the negative impact of excessive and unguided use of gadgets in kid’s physical, psychological and social development. Their agony is inevitable.

But as a parents have you ever imagined that your overindulgence in an smart phone is affecting your kids more!

“A study conducted by a group of Chinese researchers Xiaochun Xie and JulanXie (published in Journal of Adolescence) has revealed that parents who ignore their kids and are engrossed in their smartphones instead may be putting their offspring at risk of depression.”

We often see parents don’t drop phone aside even during interaction with their kids. It’s like eyes and finger scrolling screen and paying quarter attention to the kids. This immersion in phone is so intense that they even get irritated when kid try to talk or ask something. They loose track of their children sometime unless something fatal happens. This is not only degrading the quality of a parent-child interaction but also induce children towards developing risky attention seeking behaviors which often leads to the injuries.

Children of smartphone addicted parents feel unimportant and uncared. Due to inadequate guidance and attention children develops negative thoughts and negative behavior . They start feeling sad, angry and lonely. Consequently, it gradually affects the overall development of the children, especially, their mental health.

There is nothing wrong in using smart-phones unless you use it smartly. In fact, Smart-phones have become an integral part of our life due to it’s multiple useful functionalities. But remember that smart-phones are supposed save our time so that we can have more quality time with our loved ones in this fast pace of life. Unfortunately, things are just opposite.

Parents have to allocate time and be disciplined in order to bring balance between nurturing children and smartphone use. Your slight adjustment in lifestyle can prevent an entire generation from falling in the sump of chaos. Your attention and time is the blessing for your children. Save your kids from the risk of depression. Talk to your kids like you talk your phones….

By Sandip Gupta

SILENCE AND STIGMA

Suicide.. The word suicide caught your attention, didn’t it? The truth is suicide catches everyone’s attention. It’s the actions that lead up to suicide that go unnoticed. Every 40 seconds on average someone on our planet would take their own life. Four out of five people suffers from mental illness in their lifetime. Statistics state that 90% of suicide are caused by a treatable or temporary mental illness. Why is it that people continue to suffer in silence waiting for death? Perhaps the main reason that people do not seek treatment is the stigma surrounding mental health. Sadly, this is widespread in today’s society. The stigma attached to mental illness is so strong in Nepal that most people would not seek help when they need to.

Mental illness aren’t choice. Break the silence. Break the chain of stigma. Lend a listening ear. Be kind. Lend a hand to save life.

If we just remain silent about the epidemic of mental disease in Nepal tens of thousands of people will continue to suffer in silence. I think it is time to start thinking about mental health problem in the same way as any other medical problems. If you had a friend or family member who was physically unwell, telling them that “you need help” would be kind and supportive advice why doesn’t the same hold for encouraging someone to see a psychologist?

MENTAL HEALTH STIGMA LOOKS LIKE

Everyone has anxiety, some people are just stronger than you are.
Mental illness is just an excuse to live life off benefits and not contribute to society.
Therapy and Medications are just scams, you don’t need all that.
Kids and teens can’t have mental illness, what have they got to worry about in life?
What do you mean” you can’t get out of bed”, it’s not like your legs aren’t working.
Mental illness is just attention seeking.
Mental illness is not disease and so on…..

If we don’t act to change our perception towards mental illness, there will be no real change with the stigma that’s associated with it

WAYS TO REDUCE STIGMA ATTACHED TO MENTAL HEALTH

Talk openly about mental health.
Encourage equality between physical and mental illness.
Be positive mental health role model.
Do not label or stereotype people with mental illness.
Show compassion and love for those with mental illness.
Educate yourself and others about mental health.
Choose empowerment over shame.
Be honest about treatment normalize mental health treatment just like other health care.

The stigma associated with mental illness creates an environment where people are reluctant or unable to get help they need. Breaking stigma is important. It is a form of suicide prevention which is the second leading cause of death in youngsters. Let others know when they are stigmatizing mental health. Don’t silently endorse stigma by saying nothing. People with mental health condition deserve just as much support and compassion as the people with physical conditions. Having a mental disorder is even harder when people assume you can just ” get over it” . I truly hope that in my life time things will change. I hope that mental disorder stigma will become history. The field of evidence based clinical psychology is relatively young, So, perhaps it’s understandable that the world hasn’t caught on yet. However, we can all do our share. One way to start is for us to change our attitude towards mental health.

Mental illness aren’t choice. Break the silence. Break the chain of stigma. Lend a listening ear. Be kind. Lend a hand to save life.

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